Why your family and friends don’t make the best wedding vendors

So, your cousin has a great camera and takes great photos, and your aunt is a hobby florist. Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Put their skills to work and save some money on the big day! Actually, we strongly recommend against this, especially when it comes to hiring wedding vendors, and here are some reasons why.

1. Your friends and family don’t want to work on your wedding day – Trust me. They really don’t. Even if they offer to help you, they would rather just attend your wedding as a guest. Please don’t put them in the awkward position of telling you this and don’t ask them in the first place. Tell them you would rather have them enjoy their time as a guest rather than work. Your mom should be by your side on your wedding day, not setting up last-minute centerpieces Aunt Kathy hastily assembled.
2. Consider asking loved ones for wedding services as a gift or discount, saving money while adding personal touches. But you should not assume this will be the case. For those treating this as a career or side hustle, with fixed costs, it’s fair for them to charge accordingly. This can make for some awkwardness if you are expecting free services or deeply discounted services.
3. They might not really be as “on it” as you hoped – We see this ALL of the time. If you are not paying for wedding vendors services from a friend or relative, you may not get the same treatment as a paying client would. A friend or relative might feel that they can have a more relaxed and casual working relationship and you might be expecting the same level of service they provide to paid clients. Also, if this is a side gig for this person, he or she may have to prioritize his or her day job instead of your wedding, which makes sense.
4. Mixing business and pleasure can get messy – What happens if this friend or family member does not meet your expectations? This could forever damage the relationship. To us, this is the most important consideration. Hiring a wedding professional ensures you can voice concerns or address issues comfortably if expectations aren’t met during the event.

The Bottom Line

If you are still leaning towards “hiring” a friend or relative as a wedding vendor here are our words of wisdom. Make sure you draft a contract that clearly stated his or her responsibilities, any payment due to them and any deadlines or important information. By having this contract to reference, you and your “friendor” can have clear expectations and boundaries set to ensure that the relationship lasts beyond your wedding day.